Oh what a beautiful day!!!
WANTED: CLAIRE ELIZABETH BEAR. Height: 26 inches. Weight: 17 lbs. Appears cute and cuddly, but consider her very dangerous. Full of sugar, spice, and everything NOT so nice. Last seen roaming through the woods on the trail to Monticello. Strikes fear into the hearts of unsuspecting hikers.
REWARD: $1,000,000
THE SUSPECTS CAVE
The suspect awakes from a long hibernation in her cave where she has been dreaming about milk shakes, oreos dipped in tall glasses of milk, and drinking fountains full of milk. She is nice and cozy in her warm designer fur that she received from her fun Aunt Alyson. She is so hungry, she could eat a horse (a horse made of milk that is). The time has come for her to emerge.
The Bear Hunter
Cunning. Methodical. Voted 2005, 2006 Bear hunter of the years. When she's on the case, you had better play your cards right. Look out Claire Bear, Hillory the Hunter is on your trail.
The suspect slowly emerges from her cave and staggers up the hill. She is consumed by the desire for food and decides to lick the salt off of her arms to tie her over. She is going to have to be pretty nimble today if she is going to survive.
Here the bear hides in the shadows of her cave waiting and watching patiently for the unsuspecting victim to casually stroll by. Remember don't let her cute and cuddly nature draw you in.
The Photographer
Dedicated. Passionate. Solid. Photographer Nate is on the case. His mission is to document the ensuing showdown. Will He fold in the face of DANGER?
She crouches over, ready to make the first kill of the day. But her prey escapes unharmed, despite her impeccable form. It is amazing that the photographer has been able to get this close the dangerous bear. He didn't even have his fancy camera to help him out (although there is word that it is on its way).
Claire catches wind that the Bear Hunter is close. A look of concern and uncertainty fills her face.
The Hiding Spot
Here the bear takes refuge in the log pile. She resorts to looking for insects and small animals - things she can crush with one swipe of her mighty paw. She is also contemplating a nap as all of this hard work has really made her tired. No worry, she will get a good sleep tonight. On with the hunt.
The Hunt Continues
Remember how I said cute and cuddly? The photographer was almost torn to pieces in order to bring you this close up picture. It's just that he tried to pinch those cheeks and the bear wasn't too pleased.
The Snack
Claire sets up watch over her favorite hunting spot on the trail - the pond. Here many victims have fallen prey to her cunning plans for dinner. In fact, if you look real closely, the bear is just finishing up a little snack - a poor, unfortunate squirrel.
Oh no!!! I think the bear has spotted something of her liking.
The bear turns and crouches down, ready to make the kill.
The Attack
She lets out a loud roar that fills the forest and lunges down the mountain after her dinner, bounding recklessly, knocking over trees and plants to satisfy her voracious hunger.
Out of nowhere comes the fearsome bear hunter and wrestles Claire to the gound. It is an intense battle too gruesome to show. In the end the bear hunter wins and hauls Claire off to the cage where she belongs.
The Mugshot
Claire is charged with conduct unbecoming of a cute, cuddly bear. She is found guilty and is sentenced to life with the Hunter and the Bear. She'll eat you with those scary eyes.
Right where this bear belongs - where we can keep a close eye on her and make sure she behaves. We love our little bear so much. We hope you have enjoyed our adventures today. Stay tuned for more.
*No animals were hurt in the production/filming of this story.
10 comments:
This is adorable!!! I'm so glad to know just how dangerous and predatory this Claire-bear is otherwise I, too, would be drawn in by her too cute cheeks, her deceptively welcoming smile, and the sweet expression in her eyes. You've really done a public service with your warning, but I think the sentence is too easy on the bear! Oh, and I can't believe Mark told you where the candy is -- it's more about the challenge, now, than the candy itself! No fair!
I wish I could have gone on the bear hunt too! I miss you guys already. Nate, you are a great blogger!
Cyd
You guys are the cutest parents! And yes, B does still love the Dodgers too.
I'm never going to walk into the woods again. I'll probably have bear-attack nightmares for weeks. The bear hunter would look more credible without the 'Brain Injury' tag on the back of her shirt!
Great story Nate. You are by far the best blogger I've seen. I can't believe how cute she looks in her bear outfit! And the bear hunter looks great too. Can't wait to see you guys again.
My little cuddle bear's being maligned and misjudged and she needs her Papa Bear to come to the rescue!
What a wonderful way to start the Sabbath Day. How we do enjoy the blog and in deed, the originators and contributors are quite the performers. Your creativity makes it possible for is to be part of your lives even though we are so far away.
Please let Claire Bear know that her Grandpapa Bear is getting wrestles to see her, the Bear Hunter and the Photographer.
See you soon.
With love. Papa
Dear Claire,
I think we would make a ferocious pair. We should plan something when you come visit me next month. I have already been planning some strategies in the wee hours of the morning. I don't think my mom and dad are happy. Let's talk soon!
Love,
Sam the lion
claire,
thank you for your story. i laughed, i cried, i smiled, i was filled with hope. I can't wait to see you.
Seth
What a cute cuddly bear. The bear must have gotten worn out after a long photo shoot. I hope she got her nap. I am excited to see all of you in a months time. Though, the photog did look kind of like a nerd. what can i say...
Hill, You sort of look like Natalie Imbrulia or however you spell that in the picture with the cards. Don't you think? It was great to see you guys tongight! Let us know what your schedule is looking like!
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